People in Colombia are known for being friendly. So naturally, you would think that meeting people and making friends would be super easy.
Sure, I won’t deny that people smile, approach you, and ask questions. but that doesn’t mean they’re friends. Culturally, people here are so polite, they have mastered the art of telling each other off all with a smile on their face. Foreigners would claim they are fake, but this is just the way things work in Colombia.
I’m not saying people are not genuinely interested. Of course, they’re curious and they come off as extra nice and polite. But what I’m trying to say is, don’t expect it to go any further.
Friendliness doesn’t necessarily equal friends. there are several factors that make meeting people and making friends in Bogota more difficult than you would think. From my short experience and thanks to my Colombian partner who culturally sensitizes me, here are 6 truths about meeting people and making friends in Bogota.
1. Higher stratums are friendly but closed
Stratums are real here. Due to the fact that stratums are defined, people of higher stratum try hard to make it obvious of where they belong. The way they speak, the way they dress, the list goes on and on. You can spot them from a mile off. Not to mention, you probably won’t find them in the streets as they are riding around with their chauffeurs in their bulletproof cars.
You will, however, find them in their country club, restaurants, and hip the bars. Your paths might cross and you’ll engage in a great and friendly conversation. You probably thought you hit it off really well and they even asked to exchange numbers.
Perhaps they even invited you to their country home or tell you you should do it again and have another drink sometime. How friendly right?
Don’t get your hopes up (speaking from experience right here!) This is just Colombian politeness. You probably won’t see them again, let alone call you. Move on.
Even if you hit it off, they remain quite closed when it comes to their social circle.
2. Lower stratums are more welcoming
Expats remain a relatively new concept to Colombia and Colombians are still amazed to see foreigners in their country. For many that have traveled very little outside the country or not at all, befriending a foreigner is a real treat. Almost like having an exotic pet (no joke) befriending a foreigner can even be something to show off. Yes, seriously.
Perhaps there’s a lot more social reasons to explain this phenomenon, but in any case, it’s a real thing.
3. All your expat friends will eventually leave
Maybe you yourself are only here for a couple of years. In that case, making expat friends shouldn’t affect you much. But if you’re here to stay, know that you’ll eventually have to part ways with that awesome English/Australian/French friend of yours.
4. Every Sunday is family day
Colombians are very attached to their family. If you are an expat without any family in the country, you tend to have all the weekend free to spend with friends. However, you’ll notice that your local friends are never available on Sunday. (Wanna know what they do?) They’re usually out and about with their family spending quality time with their aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents’ and the whole enchilada.
Read about my culture shock lessons about putting up with my latino family.
Take Sundays to exercise on the ciclovía or spend quality time alone or with your special someone.
5. You won’t see your friends so often
People in Bogota work long hours and have to prioritize what they want to do with the little free time they have. Out of 7 days a week, they have Friday night and Saturday to makes plans. So between family, lifelong friends, date night and deciding if they feel like putting up with the horrible traffic, this limits your encounters.
As a result, you’ll see the same good friend about once to twice a month if you’re lucky.
6. Colleagues will become good friends
In many countries around the world, people prefer to keep professional relationships separate from their personal lives. But in Colombia, it’s one in the same. As a matter of fact, to grow within your company and better collaborate with your colleagues, it’s expected that you build strong work relationships outside the workplace.
Be ready to attend baby showers, birthdays and BBQs. It’s all part of the protocol.
Making friends in Bogota has its own set of challenges despite what you might think.
Do you live in Bogota and feel the same way? Or are you moving soon and wondering what to expect?
Drop me a message in the comment box down below and tell me what you think on the matter!
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10 comments
You are so friendly
All that you wrote man it’s so true. My wife and I moved here from Orlando florida going on three years ago, we are both retired. I am from New York and my parents were from P.R. So I can speak some spanish not to much but to read it, very little. So my wife has to help me a lot. She is from Bogota and she has a son here and now we are grandparents. Anyway I can see what you mean and to me I have learn that if they don’t respond too dam bad. My wife and go out as much as we can and my wife’s son which to me is my son too we spend time together mostly on Sunday as a FAMILY. Also I spend most of my free time making music. I’m a home producer. I am in the middle of releasing a C.D. Thank you for your words. One thing I do want to say before I forget. Colombia has a lot of beauty that most of the people either don’t see it or don’t care and so much, what a waste. I’ve learned to see it’s beauty. There is so much I want to say maybe next time.
Greetings! After nearly 10 years of living in Medellin — and as the organizer of the largest language exchange group in town with 20,000+ members, (Medellin ENGLISH – SPANISH Events) I wanted to congratulate you on your clear-eyed take on Colombian culture. It takes a while before newcomers understand the distinction between friendly and considerate behavior. Learning to appreciate the wonderful qualities of Colombian culture and to not take the less-than-wonderful qualities personally is, in my opinion, the secret sauce to successfully adapting to Colombia. Your no-nonsense approach is a welcome addition to understanding Colombia, and Colombians, and I thank you for writing so elequently about your experiences here. Best of luck going forward and I hope you KEEP WRITING!
Hi Jim! Thanks so much for your kind words.
[…] **6 Things No One Told You About Making Friends in Colombia** […]
Interesting reading. I’m only here for a couple of months and have experienced a massive language barrier. I’ve travelled around Latin America, including other parts of Colombia, and usually get by with people willing to work with my ‘Spanglish’. I’m keen to keep learning and practicing although its slow progress. I always try though which usually raises a smile or a laugh if its really bad but people are usually friendly and helpful. I have found in Bogota however that people are less willing to try and communicate and are less friendly in general. I have felt isolated at work and feel like a leper because my colleagues either do not speak English and are afraid i will try to speak to them or they speak a little English but are afraid to try. I also find people here generally quite disrespectful particularly on the transmilenio where it seems fairly routine to physically assault someone. I’ve lived in London and commuted on the packed underground and that now seems like a pleasant memory in comparison! Not enjoying the experience and looking forward to leaving in just over a month.
Oh, thank you, Helen…I am so relieved that I’m not the only one who feels consistently minimized and literally battered on the streets. I get so disgusted with people actually hurrying to beat me to a door or a corner or whatever – constantly bumped into without a word of pardon or whatever. I walk with a cane sometimes, and I’ve actually had my cane kicked when some jerk hurried to pass me on the right side with inches to spare on the curb, and cut in front of me just be be in front of me. I’ve been around the U.S., Canada, Central Americal, Europe, etc., and I’ve never experienced a group of people so disgustingly rude. I am sick of hearing about “how friendly and warm Colombians are.” (And don’t get me started on the embicilic honking of horns in the street…..morons believing their aggressive and rude manners affect anything to do with traffic.)
Very interesting, i feel the same way but did not have formalized the whole 6 reasons. Hope that i’ll be able to make some good local friends though!
Thanks for your message! I’m glad to hear I’m not alone feeling this. Having a Colombian partner definitely helped me put a finger on the subject!
[…] Despite people saying Colombians are super friendly and open, I have found that making local friends in Bogota is not as simple as 1,2,3. If you want to know my 2 cents, you can read about my experience on meeting people vs. making friends in Bogota. […]