Hands up if you’re a foreigner having a hard time dealing with Colombian time!
You’re not alone my friend!
Colombians have a twisted notion of time that’s hard to get accustomed to. To us foreigners, it feels like Colombians never feel compromised to a fixed time or date. Time just doesn’t seem to be a big deal here.
As a result of Colombians not taking life and dates very seriously, I feel we foreigners take it quite personally.
And although I now understand how it works, I refuse to befriend a typical flaky Colombian. I just doesn’t stand with my culture honestly, and to me, demonstrates a totally lack of compromise to our friendship (no matter how good of an excuse they have EVERY single time).
Correct me if I’m wrong…
If you’re having a total culture shock or feel no one gives a shit about you, don’t worry, they do care! (but they just have other priorities).
To help you understand what’s going on and why these crazy Colombians are always flaking on you, here’s a few guidelines to decipher Colombians’ crazy notion of time and how to deal with it (if you’re actually willing to put up with it).
DISCLAIMER: I’ve met my fair share of Colombians who run on German time and stick by their words. As always, these are generalizations.
1. Ahorita
Sure, ahora mean ‘now’ and -ita is a diminutive. So what’s ahorita?
Let me give you a few scenarios so you get the picture:
(Boyfriend and girlfriend conversation)
Girlfriend: “Mi amor, can you please clean up your mess?”
Boyfriend: “Ahorita.”
Actually, I think this one gets the point across pretty well.
WHAT IT MEANS
Basically, ahorita is a way to respond without compromising to a fixed time. It means absolutely nothing.
A person will tell you ahorita instead of a fixed time because they don’t know exactly when. Or they just don’t want to commit and prefer a wider time range.
HOW TO DEAL WITH IT
If the person tells you ahorita, you need to be flexible. There’s no way around it.
But let’s say you have a prenatal class with your partner who hasn’t yet arrived and when you call him, he tells you he’ll be there ahorita, you are in your right to ask exactly in how many minutes he’ll be there before you start looking like a fool.
Basically, if it’s not super time sensitive, chill out.
2. Cancel last minute
That Colombian friend of yours said they were totally up for that awesome plan you were thinking of doing. And so you went through with it and did all the preparations counting on their assistance. And BAM! A few hours or minutes before the event, they cancel. WTF happened? Well, I’ll tell you!
WHAT IT MEANS
They never saved the date in the first place. Generally, plans in Colombia are made a day in advance if not the day of.
And you did not reconfirm. Yes, that’s right.
If you make plans more than a couple of days in advance, you’ll need to reconfirmar or get in touch with the person you made an appointment with, the day of or the day before, to make sure it’s actually going down!
Let’s say you did all this as they still cancelled last minute. There might be 2 reasons for this:
REASON #1:
Colombians are a non-confrontational society (rather, they prefer to be passive aggressive).
They don’t know how to decline because they’re afraid to hurt your feelings. Stupid, right?
For some reason, Colombians tend to take things personally. As a result, they’re afraid of canceling and will wait until the last minute.
REASON #2:
They want to measure their options and choose the best plan.
Free time is limited and they want to make the most of it. Maybe your plan wasn’t as enticing as something else that was presented to them last minute. You’re not that important. Or they simply preferred to do something else. As simple as that.
HOW TO DEAL WITH IT
My best piece of advice is to not take it personally. Don’t rearrange your schedule for that plan. It’s better to go with the flow without so much organization. Make all the plans you want for that day. Nothing is for sure until you or they have reconfirmed!
3. Say they’ll be there in X minutes and show up much later or not at all
WHAT IT MEANS
To me, it means they have no manners, you are not important, and they just don’t give a shit. But that’s the way all foreigners see it I guess.
My Colombian half says that being on time is not a priority. ‘Ay, que pena!’ they’ll say, as they arrive 2 hours later and you’re already picking up the bill.
Even if other Colombians that DID arrive on time will be pissed, they won’t confront the transgressor. ‘No te preocupes! Llegaste!‘ they’ll say.
People are people too very forgiving in my opinion. As a result, it becomes permissible to show up when you damn well please.
HOW TO DEAL WITH IT
I personally won’t befriend this type of Colombian. I can’t take it. Again, if you learn to not take it personally, then I guess it can work out.
4. Don’t show up and call the next day
WHAT IT MEANS
They didn’t have the balls to cancel last minute. Or they were embarrassed to tell you they decided to do something else.
The fact that they’re picking up the phone, regardless that they didn’t show and didn’t respond until the next day does mean that they care at least. Right?
In most cases if you’re not that good friends, people who are a no-show will probably never call you again. Consider the friendship over. They’ll be too embarrassed to contact you again.
The only contact you’ll get is if your paths randomly cross and you’ll be forced to say hi. They’ll seem super interested in how you’ve been and tell you should definitely meet up sometime. Then you’ll never hear from them again until your next random encounter.
HOW TO DEAL WITH IT
Move on. They’re not worth it.
5. Make plans and never follow up
WHAT IT MEANS
Just be because Colombians are planning out the tiniest of details of that exciting plan your discussing doesn’t mean it’s going to happen.
It just sounds exciting in the moment. In.The. Moment. They are just living in the present. Tomorrow is another day.
HOW TO DEAL WITH IT
If you want things to happen, you need to be super proactive and take initiative. You’ll need to follow up and reconfirm!
Yes, Making Colombian friends is hard. In addition to their warped notion of time, there’s a whole bunch social rules that determine with whom and how you’ll interact and make friends.
**6 Things No One Told You About Making Friends in Colombia**
Struggling with flaky Colombians? Tell me your most frustrating story in the comment box down below!
12 comments
I lived in Colombia for almost 10 years. There are things that I miss, and there are things that I don’t miss and it is the lack of respect for time or scheduled plans. It would drive me crazy when I made plans with someone and they were hours late or wouldn’t show up at all. Of course, I don’t mean to generalize since there are Colombians who I met who were very reliable, honest and we are still friends to this day. Another thing I couldn’t understand was the gift of the gab or all talk and no action mentality “Carretudos”. I had so many problems with mechanics, plumbers, electricians promising the best job, charging a lot of money, only to do terrible work or they made the problem worse. Another thing I noticed was the lack of self awareness or it was very difficult for many people to take accountability in anything. It was always someone else’s fault. On the other hand, what I loved about Colombia was the sense of family and unity. Sometimes it was annoying since I felt my privacy was invaded on a couple of occasions, but I never felt alone there. Lastly, how expensive everything is. For example, it is nearly impossible to afford material things such as a car, technology and other things. It is soooo expensive. I want to make a very important point. The grass is not greener anywhere you go as there are the pros and cons. For example, after returning to the United States, I couldn’t believe how terrible things got. How terrible the people have become. Sure, you can afford a car and those other material things I mentioned, but everything else is really expensive such as education and healthcare. The last two will put you into debt for the rest of your life. For me, life was simpler in Colombia and with less stress. I really miss that feeling! I don’t know if I could live there again, but I surely will visit.
I’m a Colombian living in the states and after 35 years, I still struggle with being on time. I don’t mean to be disrespect full, it’s just that something ALWAYS does happen no matter how committed I am to getting there on time. While I might be two hours late, you can bet I was worrying for the two hours I was trying to get there, but I will always get there!
The comment of Colombians being polite, not declining, and taking things personal and being embarrassed really hit home.
I say yes things that are fun, but I say yes to things not so fun, things I have to do and get done and don’t say no to people even though realisticly there are not enough hours in the day. So things often collide. If a clients/friend/neighbors/stranger keeps rambling on , I find it very hard to cut them off and pick up and go….even though I know other clients/friends/neighbors are waiting for me somewhere else. However, in my defense…
I set various alarms, that don’t go off.
I leave 30mins earlier then usual to be on time ,only to have bridges go up and stay up so I am still late.
I leave an HOUR extra, on top of travel time required, but I take the wrong exit minutes from my destination, I get completely lost and the return exit is 5 miles out and I have to drive another 5 miles back. I arrived 10 min late and professor won’t let me in class and says i have to come back tomorrow because i obviously i don’t think his class is important enough. I can never win!
Please be kind to your Colombian friends we mean well.
I was born and raised Colombian, married an Englishman and have lived in Canada for 45 years. While growing up in Colombia, it was not acceptable in my family to be late, ever! On the other hand, I had always heard of the impecable English timekeeping; well, I have news for you. English through and through, my dear husband is the worst offender of them all, bar none. When I couldn’t any longer tolerate such unacceptable attitude, I decided that I’d wait for him or anybody else for that matter, 10 minutes, simply, as a matter of courtesy at which point I’d leave. Period. End of the story. Not excuses necessary. I absolutely believe this casual attitude shows lack of respect apart from being very discourteous.
So, you’ll find poor timekeepers everywhere in the world, but in Colombia this is part of the culture; unrefined, immature culture I may add; and this is just my opinion. To not understand their commitment to be at a place at a previously agreed time, and to not understand the importance of proper etiquete is simply one of the rudest things anyone can do. If you make an appointment, honor it. Whether your are late or just don’t show up, what is implied here is that there’s very little regard for the other person’s time. People like these should not be in your list of friends unless, of course, you are willing to let it slide.
I am English and my wife is Brazilian, we have many friends from all over Latin America. Brazilians and other Latina’s including Spanish friends are exactly the same they have absolutely no bloody concept of time and they all have all have a tendency to be flaky.
I have learned this is not intentional or personal its just this “do it tomorrow” attitude they all have. Personally I think the Spanish are the worst I have ever encountered when it comes to this mindset, they haven’t a clue about time keeping.
I call the lateness thing the “Latin Hour” – if you need to be somewhere at 8 pm tell them you need to be there are 7 pm and you may actually get there on time.
After 16 years of marriage thankfully my wife and step daughter learned that nothing enrages Anglo’s more than lateness or flakiness and they have both thankfully adapted…..with the odd relapse.
I laugh now as I watch my wife become enraged when someone messes her about and I remind her that it was only a few years back that she was exactly the same way.
I like that! “The Latin Hour” 🙂
Hi. The one perception that really struck home was the idea that as a rule, Colombians don’t plan things out in advance like I do. When I travel, I try to have a plan prepared weeks in advance, while this idea was completely foreign to them. However, I am married to a Colombian and I also live with my sister in law, and I must say that they are always on time and always dependable.
It’s true, not all Colombians are like this. However, I have found that it is a common cultural defect.
I’ve never heard of “ahorita” but DEFINITELY know exactly what you’re saying. My wife has a cousin who does this ALL the time. “Oh, we should get together and go out dancing, blah, blah, blah.” Whatever.
I’m a straight-up Capricorn (uptight and goal oriented) who’s crazy about being on-time. I told my wife before we got married that if her mom tried to pull some Colombian bullshit and leave me to wait at the alter for dramatic effect, to not be surprised if I wasn’t standing there. She was right on time ?
Now, we’re talking of moving there and I know I have got to adjust my expectations.
I know the feeling. When you come to Colombia the only thing I can say is so many Colombians are like this, that if you don’t learn to except it, you will drive yourself crazy.
Time is a struggle for many expats. I worked as a lawyer for many years and time is of the utmost importance. I am married to a Colombian and I am still not completely use to it. I have learned that ahorita simply means not right now or sometime in the future if ever. While we laugh at it, there is always a little part of me that has utter disdain for it. Also, I have to resit the urge to make plans with no intention of ever following through just to make a point.
I agreed with all your facts, esp: that they in live in the moment.
I arranged english class for kids FOR FREE. knocked on every house to ask the parents about the class. all of them were full of joy and tell me how great the idea is. 15 kids should be in the first class, only 6 came up. after two weeks it only last 2 kids. no parents came to my place tell me the reason why the kids never showed up. at first I felt betrayed especially when they say “with no english, you bye bye”.
Hi Efi! That sounds so on point. I also teached English before and the average drop out rate was 1 month.