Dating Colombian Men | What They Think They Want vs. What They Really Want
Over the past few years of living in Colombia, I’ve had a chance to observe many cultural differences, one of them being how relationships work. The dynamic of partnerships works differently here. Women are generally much more attentive and men are quite spoiled. Often times I will see that the same way women coo over their pets, they’ll coo over their partner.
In a female foreigner’s eyes, it looks pathetic. Men are treated like babies and relish in it too. But to a male foreigner, it’s quite the contrary. All the foreign guys I’ve spoken to prefer Colombian women over the women of their country, stating that Colombian women are kinder, softer and generally more submissive. But we’ll save that conversation for another day!
Oh, men. We can’t live with them and we can’t live without them. Especially Colombian men. Over the past few years, I have had the pleasure of meeting many multicultural couples where the boyfriend was Colombian and the girlfriend either European or American. Read these women’s confessions of dating a Colombian man here.
After many late nights and bottles of wine sharing intimate discussions and comparing relationships and how it was like dating Colombian men, I’ve gathered a few conclusions.
Colombian men go abroad thinking that they want and prefer a foreign girlfriend. But there’s an inner conflict between what they think they want vs. what they REALLY want.
Here’re my 2 cents.
Disclosure: These are generalizations. I’ve been in a happy relationship for 9 years now with a Colombian man myself. Everyone is different!
Dating Colombian men: what they think they want versus what they really want
What they think they want: no drama
What they really want: drama
All guys say they want no drama. That girls love to be dramatic and make a big deal out of things. However, we ladies could say the same about our male counterparts. Yet, drama still finds its way into relationships. Sometimes it brings us together, other times it tears us apart. And sometimes, it tears us apart only to bring us back together stronger than ever. Sigh
As a foreigner, you’ll find that in many cases of dating a Colombian man, he will be just as dramatic, if not more, than you.
Some say drama is unnecessary, but Colombian men might argue otherwise. Perhaps it’s what keeps the fire going…
What they think they want: an independent woman
What they really want: a woman that needs them
Colombian men will claim that they cherish their independence and want a woman that’s not clingy. Sure if they’re dating several girls at once, perhaps that might be the case. But if they’re really into one person, they want her to be pendiente which literally translates to ‘pending’ or how I would like to translate: at their whim. They want their girlfriends to be available when they say and for their lady to constantly keep an eye out over them.
I guess this makes them feel loved, watched over, and cared about. A girl who has her own things going on and doesn’t necessarily prioritize her partner every time can come off as uninterested or careless.
If you plan on dating a Colombian man, be ready to put in the work!
What they think they want: a free spirit
What they really want: Sofia Vergara
Here, I would like to focus more on beauty standards. In Europe and in the U.S. women like to experiment with funky styles, haircuts, makeup and enjoy breaking stereotypes. And best of all, guys will dig that. Not in Colombia. Colombian guys prefer the traditional beauty standard. They want their women to look like women if you know what I mean.
Long hair, curves, earrings (always!), mascara and girly lipstick. Very traditional. As a result, all girls kinda look the same. Very boring.
Personal anecdote: I’m fortunate to have a boyfriend who puts up with my crazy hairstyles styles every couple of years. A few years back I decided to rock a boy cut, and all I ever heard from his family members was how I should let my hair grow out and how pretty I would be with long hair. *Yawn*
What they think they want: a girlfriend
What they really want: a mother
Many Colombian men will be totally spoiled. Whether they come from a poor, middle-class, or rich family, the women in their household will have always given them special treatment over the women in the family.
They are used to women anticipating and attending to their every need. Women will cook, clean, serve, and do just about every goddamn thing in the house. Men will typically sit on the couch and watch TV. No joke.
So naturally, when it’s time to actually go out into the world and find someone to share their life with, they don’t look for a girlfriend, they look for mother. They look for someone that will tend to them the same way.
If you’re not into that (which was my case) be ready for years of training, patience, and psychologist appointments. If not, the door’s always open.
Dating Colombian men has its challenges. Your Colombian guy probably thought he wanted something and found you but in reality, he should’ve found a good little Colombian girl who dyes her hair blonde. (Just kidding)
If love prevails, have patience and be willing to communicate and work things through. Dating a Colombian isn’t easy, but then again, which relationship is?